Admitting you were wrong is an admirable act today, as people prefer to pass the buck or blame something for their error of judgment or mistake but it’s also how you accept the mistake that makes a difference. Those who hold their hand up and apologize show humility opposed to those who are forced to ‘eat humble pie’ who tend to be the proud and arrogant who hate being proved wrong.
It’s not as if I set out to prove people wrong but when it’s so obvious you feel you have a duty to help them understand what they are doing or saying is wrong, not only to help them but also to stop them making themselves look foolish. Do you let them continue or say something and possibly get a hostile reaction? Some people take it on the chin and others resent you for it, people hate know-it-alls but that’s the problem with arrogance; they can only see things from their view and it must be right even if everyone else disagrees.
I know right from wrong; I assumed most people did. Whether it’s a choice or people convince themselves of truths to suit them I am unsure. Sometimes we are not in a position to correct someone especially if it’s a boss employee situation but equally with a friend it can be difficult. We can make light of it or suggest another way of looking at things but no one likes to be shown up or told they are wrong so what’s the solution? I think the best and least offensive way is not to imply that what you say is definitive but offer an alternative point of view and be amenable to differing views. Delivering an opinion in a nonjudgmental way allows others to consider a view without feeling inferior or feeling stupid if they have made a mistake.
In the workplace we have to tolerate people who not humble and it’s not our place to correct them but should we tolerate friends who refuse to eat humble pie? There are people who have crossed my path who should eat it everyday, however they are the type that cannot admit they are wrong and if they do it is a façade out of a need to maintain a relationship or persona. Why apologize if you don’t mean it or admit to something to appease another’s ego? I have been loyal to my integrity (or stubborn) and refused to apologize for something I haven’t done and cannot see why I should to satisfy someone’s ego but will hold my hand up if I did make a mistake.
A friend apologized to his son for something but didn’t mean it; the son confronted him telling him it was a disingenuous apology. He was right; he didn’t mean it so why did he apologize? He couldn’t admit he was wrong but pretended to, to stop his son from not speaking to him, he then tried to convince me he was in the right later admitting another friend had said the same as me. Was he right or wrong? This person struggles to a see things from any other perspective other than their own and is always right and continues to make the same errors until he learns he needs to eat humble pie.
An ex asked me to apologize to his mother even though I had done nothing wrong and was told to ‘just do it because I should’. The ex admitted I did nothing wrong but insisted I should eat humble pie for no reason except to satisfy his mothers ego. Of course I refused and that was the end of that relationship.
Those who go about brandishing opinions and facts with no basis and in an egotistical fashion should learn if they deliver in a humble way they are less likely to have to eat humble pie. Often these are the people who get forced to eat humble pie as their demeanor encourages others to offer it to them.
Being humble and having humility can be seen as a weakness – I see it as quiet strength, knowing what is right from wrong without sounding like a dictator or know-it-all, owning up to mistakes graciously and offering to eat humble pie rather the bad loser who refuses to eat humble pie. Some of the wisest people have tasted humble pie but it is the ignorant that cannot accept they need to eat humble pie.
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