Recently a friend drew a card for me and the message was to let go of attachments. I was perplexed as I thought I had let go of most things that bound me to the material world, or I had come to realize they are no longer as important to me as they once were.
I have let go of friendships that no longer served a purpose; friends that lied, betrayed and who were negative were released, initially reluctantly, but since the burden has lifted it has allowed a calmness I had not known. When friendships become one way, then it’s time to rethink whether it is good for you. Like all relationships, few last and many come and go according to what stage you are in your life. Friends inevitably drift apart when their lives take a different path. When my friends started to have children, we had little left in common but memories. They are still friends on social media, but their lives have changed and so has mine. Then there are those friendships that you grow up with and those are the ones who really know you.
Letting go and releasing any resentment towards ex partners can be difficult and with any ending of a relationship comes with it some emotional turmoil. Time helps, but eventually you have to make a conscious effort to let go. It’s hard when an ex moves on when you haven’t, and nothing can take away that pain, but is part of the process to move towards another phase of your life. Looking at it from a different perspective; that was a close miss or it’s his/her loss
It’s near impossible not to have any material needs with the modern demands of laptops, mobile phones and cars. With social media, looks and appearances have become an important part of society, however, we can become too consumed with what others think and how we should look. Trips to the mall and buying online halted as I canceled the emails alerting me to the start of designer sales. I haven’t given all my possessions away, but I haven’t bought any more. Realistically, one has to take one’s time, going from a designer handbag a month to none takes some adjusting. Now I no longer have the desire, but I still like to look through a magazine every now and then although all the magazine subscriptions have also been canceled.
A wise friend told me the attachments I needed to let go of were things about myself; guilt, judgment, a need for perfection and a desire to do what is right. I felt guilty that I wasn’t working hard enough or helping enough people and that I should and could do more. There are some things we cannot see because we are too close and we cling to attributes that are in fact becoming unhealthy for us. We may not think it, but sometimes these can consume us and possibly lose sight of finding a balance between what we should do and what we can let go of.
Letting go of attachments and releasing resentment is only possible if we want to and realizing what we need to let go of. There are some things I’m still not ready to let go of and am not sure if I ever will be—we can’t let go of everything because we will always want something, even if it is to be left alone.